Does your unique personality fingerprint stand a chance ?

Innately, I had been less used to inviting attention whithersoever I go, for the very reason that I was a mix of reservedness and gregariousness. Courtesy, my semi-urban outlook in my early youth days. I had been encouraged to believe that I need to be identifiable with those around me to gain acceptance into their social milieu. That is, "you've got play the sheep if you've got to graze with sheep.... and don't beg to be any different dear", I'd been lovingly urged. "Socialize as they do", "be attired like them", "play and work like they do", "don't strive for higher things" ... I have been egged on saying that these would pave the way for nurturing an affable and gainly personality and help win that "mediocre" acceptance with the world. So, I have been urged to go with the crowd and take the world view than to stand apart in the crowd.

But, utterly contrariwise, for reasons unbeknown to me, I have evolved into a quizzical person who poses himself the basic why, what, where, when, how and who before deciding on any course of action before drawing meaning from it. Similarly applied, it's also habitual for me to mentally measure and size up the scheme of things before sparking off fresh friendships and relationships too. I also tend to pre-rationalize my wardrobe choices, the things that I purchase into my home and also the once-in-a-lifetime decisions I take as well, among other things. To add, I have also loved to blend rationale with the Holy Scripture instead of blindly tailing the herd thereby developing my own personal God-assisted view over the world view. Well, that's how I have some good or bad reason been and wish to be in the very future.

It's not that changing one's approach to building relationships or attiring oneself or making choices in life in tune with the general world views, as the world wants, would take too long thereby gaining acceptance. In fact, a concerted and redirected effort down that path would make that just next to easy, but on the contrary would be way-way off what serves to shape an individual's (my) unique personality fingerprint. There have been times when I have had an immature aching to mimic others personality dimensions, but it seems now, that my gray cells have rationally evolved over time, developing en-route a natural set of differentiated choices, sense of style and even demeanor that newbies in my circle of acquaintances find interesting to deal with.

For example. Style, one's fashion statement, often proclaims the type of man in you. Perfectly agreed. However, style must be a product of one's cultivation, personal choice, age and self-defined realm of comfort. Style, according to me, works better if it is a reflection of your actual self and not an assumed self. I tend to draw both awe and ire in equal measure for turning up at important friend and family functions in my passe garb, which I feel comfy beneath. But let me ask you this. Does Rahul Gandhi fail to charm us with his immaculate white kurta pyjama with narrow flares, or does Palaniyappan Chidambaram go begging for his reputation when attired in his starched dhoti and shirts ? No doubt, we can spruce them up with Armani and Rohit Bal, but only with no uncertain disaster. But, these are folks whose personalities are seen accentuated only when they adopt their personally crafted choices. By the way, apologies for using these gentlefolk, Rahul and PC to drive home the point.

Next, I often like deriving methods out of madness. That is, though I am a bit disorganized in my functioning with my proverbial forgetfulness to add, I humbly admit, that I yet have the God-given acumen to deduce order out of chaos through good reasoning. I guess I can assimilate pieces of disjointed information from various sources, analyze them for logical conclusions and present them in a highly simplified and cogent fashion. Now, with most of my little world being alien to these traits, I tend to naturally be condemned for, what they conclude as my "nonsensical" recommendations. Don't be a jerk Ranjith, we all have a different view of the problem, they say. You better get on board with us. Phew !! Do I have a choice ? Well, yea maybe or maybe not.

Now. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, we often say. Biologically I am a bit myopic, but, artistically I am not. I take to enjoying beautiful flowers and birds, scenic surroundings, wonderful people and artistic workmanship in general through a varied pair of eyes, though I am not a connoisseur of refined tastes. However, I often tend to find certain things comely and captivating which others would not even prod with a twenty feet barge pole. Again, another reason to get into an debate with my little society.

My preeminent inheritance, discovered serendipitously, is my passion for reading which I believe my father bequeathed upon me. I have developed a diverse appetite for reading literature ranging from my passion from the Holy Bible, medieval classics, non-fictional and fictional international best sellers, books on management and markets to newspaper dailies, with the compulsory exception of Bollywood tabloids and India's filthy politics. I just love to read something or the other.

Music is as soul. And, playing on the piano and classical guitar only nourishes it. I love to unwind after a hectic week over a session of gospel jamming with a friend or piano-ing into my headphones alone late into the night or strumming the guitars accompanied by my baritone hums or deciphering new unexplored chord progressions. In all this, I would sense waves of hate and envy wafting across my room when folks around realize that they have not even the faintest smell of music about themselves.

These are only some of my constituent personality building blocks which give me my unique fingerprint, like everyone sure has of his or her own. However, my fight for acceptance within my world despite (in their terms) being off-beat and not being them, is quite hard to portray through words. But the fight itself is most often won than lost. And while they all sneer, rubbish and reject me, I regardless manage a loud and a hearty laugh at them.