Whipping up memories of a "Moron" from travel days !!

I want to introduce you to a “Moron” with whom I have had coincidental face-offs quite often when I left the country on business. The odds of meeting this blunder-of-a-creation has been 3-to-2 in guesstimated terms. "Mr.Moron" sits guard at one of the vantage exit points from India, and with an "operate to exasperate" motto that powers him he can prove to be the destroyer of destinies to any unwitting maiden traveler. He almost brushed with mine during our first encounter while I was on my way to Melbourne.

I checked in my baggage and was waiting for the Immigration counter to become active for the final formalities before boarding the plane. Oh yes, in this country and city you have to tolerate the Immigration officials (for that matter any Government official) to enjoy their unscheduled pee-breaks or gossip-breaks and return their haunches to their seats in their own sweetest time. I was agonizingly counting minutes and people, hoarding around in random queues lugging their cabin paraphernalia. But, just an hour before my SQ flight’s departure time, they condescendingly decided to make their royal selves worthy. As they finally did, people rushed-in with disgust to get their passports stamped and get out of the lousy place.

As for me, my ill luck and the “Moron” were aligned to utmost perfection. So, he beckoned to me and I went and stood across the counter and passed him my travel documents. His flippant looking at my passport was the first indication that he was a descendant of the “Moronic” clan. His first question though clearly seconded my assumption.

“Where is your other boarding pass ?”
If you are going to a Australia via S'pore, and if you have not been through-checked in, you would alternatively first get a boarding pass to S'pore from your city of embarkation and then a boarding pass to Australia at Changi Airport-S'pore. Right ? Wrong !! The “Moron” was not happy with my answer, and I had my share of trouble over-clarifying this to him.

“Where is your visa to Singapore ?”
Hmmm! I forgot !! Bad joke !! Back then, if you were not pre-equipped with a processed Visa, S'pore optionally had a Visa-on-arrival process if you happened to be a Visa holder of some other destination country. Maybe every other Immigration official in the world knew that, except “Sir.Moron” (I was wondering how he got to this relatively exalted office). Well, he was not convinced.

“What if they don’t give you entry into Singapore ?”
I thought I would call up “Moron”, narrate a brief history about my family and get this guy fixed by swallowing a suicide pill ? Ha !! Does it matter if I am not allowed ? It is not his darn problem anyway. I told him I will be transiting at Changi-S'pore and will take the next Qantas flight to Melbourne. "Moron" however, was singing a melody to himself and didn’t quite get my explanation as he was busy buried inside my passport to pick out some loose ends.

“What is the name of your father and mother ?”
Well, I knew mine but did the “Moron” know his ? I reeled out the details but was almost frustrated enough to ask him his in return.

With every callous question he was flipping my passport back and forth as though some magic bunny or some silly dove might just pop out from the pages.

“What will you do in Singapore?”
Oh !! I wanted to tell him that I will be buying stuff for him and his family but just stopped short of saying "only shopping and sight-seeing". No !! I didn't go that way but rather bit my tongue as I knew he won't be too happy to hear that I would be having a ball in the wonderland while he would be sitting on his rotten rear and giving a miserable time to other people.

Finally when he had nothing more to ask, he stamped my passport and cast it back across the counter. Somehow, I just had time to run, pull myself through Security and board the flight.

Next question .... "What if I had missed my flight ?"
Well, “Mr.Moron” would have been in the history books for sure !!