When unwelcome flatulence secretly rends the air !!

God forbid, but I had to write this since this humorous incident had been irking me for a while.

We are in the thick of a review session and I am all mind-and-body engaged playing the Devil's Advocate with my probing questions and challenging of assumptions when I presume I ended up nettling an equivocating Project Manager and his Team who happened to be at the receiving end of the stick. And at a time when the exchanges were reaching a head, there was this silent whiff of "disgusting air" that whirled it's way up from beneath the table, probably perpetrated by someone from the beleaguered Team. Yes, twas that hydrogen sulphide charged soft rear ended song which altered the course of the review session permanently. The song about the food which churns the air inside your guts !! And as you have by now rightly imagined, the meeting was adjourned with all window and door panes in the room flung open to let the misery out. To add, it is to this day humorously spoken off that the famed room still echoes the hushed tones of that sour song.

Funnily, this had been an area that interested a few kinky friends of mine back during college days even as their purpose was to zero in on the elusive culprits, till they were carried away and were completely lost in the maze of it's intricate body of knowledge which they then aptly named "Fartological Science". Their analysis of the properties and situational adoption of this science by individuals helped them derive different sub-nomenclatures for such folks which I have tried to capture herebelow. The occurrence of the incident a few days back as narrated above is what kicked-up long lost memories of this humorous subject and served as fodder for this blog.

Dishonest types - those who do it and then turn around to accuse a colleague
Eveready types - those who have the anytime-anywhere preparedness to launch one
Ineffective types - those who lack lower abdominal strength to even get one going
Strategic types - those who come up with it and cough aloud at the same time
Green Peace types - those whose constitutes damage-free odours
Confident types - those who literally thunder with those audible 1000W sounds
Sly types - those who let out ultra-low decibel muffled ones
Scholarly types - those who bottle-up their own specimens for research
Nervous types - those who chug and stop mid way
Upright types - those who meekly own up to their mischief
Ultimate WMD types - those killer types with the power to send multitudes down on their knees

How many times have these turbulent currents of this destructive flatulence altered your situation ?